I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
