so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't think brook has ever known best
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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