I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do vagina's smell?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
