If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
