uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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