my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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