DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
