Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
