what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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