i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it's like iHOP with fire
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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