Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize