your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i will never coherently bang her
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
