Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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