she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
