He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
