Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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