Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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