After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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