His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
