Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize