Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
