who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
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