Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
