I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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