4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
