I cannot find my penis.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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