I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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