I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
