You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
