How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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