I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
