He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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