I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
