How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
