Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize