in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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