8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
