Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
