Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
