Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
