forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
