Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
