why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
