You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
