I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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