I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
