I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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