my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
