in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I cannot find my penis.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
