Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
