She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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