who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
