how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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