i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Your face is a jimmy john
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
