I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
