xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
