I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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