You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
