I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
