I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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