I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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