Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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